so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
