just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
