So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
there was a trapeze. enough said
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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