Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
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I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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