Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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