On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
