I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
