I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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