maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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