I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
