Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
from now on my penis is your penis
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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