my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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