I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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