We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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