I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize