Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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