the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
