"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
