We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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