I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
