maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
