I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
