Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
