if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
