Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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