I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
