Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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