You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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