omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's never too late to be topless.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
