With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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