I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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