No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
