there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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