you guys were way drunker than both of me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
