she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
