i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize