Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
