so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
