You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
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Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
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I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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