She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Drunk is not a location!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
