I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
