god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
whose parrot is this?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize