oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
