why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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