If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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