id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My vagina just recognized that song.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
