I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
