I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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