If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
