I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
