and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
