i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
