I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
