Slut skills are useful in every country.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
