dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
