I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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